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SERMON
On these Sundays in Lent we're going to offer a hopefully fresh take on the stories of some men and women whose lives were changed forever because of their encounters with Jesus. And our hope is that the Holy Spirit will use these encounters as a way of preparing our hearts for Easter, and for our own encounters with the risen Lord Jesus.
In today's lesson we meet a man who had been ill for thirty-eight years, lying by the Bethesda pool day after day, ostensibly waiting for a miracle to happen. When Jesus saw him, before anything else, he asked him, "Do you want to get well?" Isn't that an odd question to ask? Not at all. In fact, that may have been the most incisive question anyone had put to that man in years. I think that disabled man had to answer that question before Jesus would do anything for him.
I say that because we know that a huge component of wellness, as well as illness, has to do with attitude. Sometimes illness is a choice we make to escape responsibilities without losing face. I remember as a child pretending to be ill to avoid a difficult day at school. I had perfected the technique. When my mother was out of the room I would hold the end of the thermometer near the light bulb to warm it, quickly shake it down to a realistic 101.6 degrees, then pop it back in my mouth before she returned. (Don't try this at home!)
But the issue runs far deeper than simply the illnesses we invent. We can make ourselves genuinely physically ill, and yet do it quite unconsciously. I daresay medical science still knows relatively little about psychosomatic illness - those problems, as well as healings, that are rooted in the status of our emotional and spiritual health. The issues run far deeper than simple physical health.
I'm reminded of the old story of the poor fellow who woke up one Sunday morning to his mother's call to get ready for church. He called back to her, "I am not going to church today!" When his mother asked him why, he said, "I'll give you three good reasons. In the first place I feel awful. Second, I was up most of the night and I'm exhausted. And third, I really don't think the people there like me."
His mother replied, "Son, you are going to church, and I'll give you three good reasons why you'd better go. In the first place it's Sunday morning and you belong there. Second, you're thirty-five years old. And third, you're the pastor!"
Sometimes illness is a choice (conscious or subconscious) that is made to escape difficult situations or responsibilities without losing face. So the marriage and family therapist will asks the couple, "Do you want your marriage to get well?" Why? Because wanting is an essential part of the healing of a relationship. And it applies to all sorts of addictive and habitual behavior. St. Augustine, whose conscience was troubled by a particular sin in his life, which he nevertheless enjoyed, is said to have prayed, "Lord, make me pure…" then added, "but not yet."
"Do you want to get well?" asked Jesus. That question also fits those who may have been carrying a load of guilt around for years. But they won't let go of the guilt - even if someone offered to bear that burden for them. Why is that? Because, sadly, sometimes people don't want to be forgiven. And why? Because who they are is all wrapped up in their guilt. "I'm a loser," they'll say. "I can't do anything right. That's just the way I am." And they've become so attached to that way of thinking about themselves that if you took away their guilt, you would rob them of their security. They define who they are in negative terms. And strange as it may seem, there is something about the dark side of all of us that can be quite attractive.
But it's a fatal attraction. Because if it goes unchecked, eventually we'll find that we don't want to recover. In terms of Jesus' question, we really don't want to get better. And I can't help but wonder if that wasn't the reason why Jesus first had to ask that man, "Do you want to get well?"
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Why do we do that to ourselves? Why would people knowingly content themselves with their spiritual and emotional and perhaps even physical infirmities, rather than submit themselves to the Lord's healing touch? I'll give you three reasons. But before that, I want us to be clear on the meaning of sin. All through the Bible you will find two complementary ideas of sin - both of them valid. One is the idea of overreaching ourselves; trying to be more than we are; trying, in fact, to take over God's place.
The other notion of sin in the Bible is falling short of who we are; that is, being less than God means us to be. And that is the sort of sin that we're looking at right now. There's a soul searching ancient prayer from the Hebrides that says: "Lord, take me often from the tumult of things into Thy presence. There show me what I am and what Thou hast purposed me to be. Then hide me from Thy tears." It is a crying sin to be less that the person God designed you to be. And yet we all do it. So let me give you three reasons why we fall for that fatal attraction.
1. First, we fail to be what God means for us to be because it's easy. Jesus said to the paralyzed man, "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk." But for thirty-eight years that man hadn't had to walk. Someone else had been picking up his mat and carrying it for him - as well as carrying him. Sometimes falling short of the mark is fatally attractive because, frankly, it is easier to fail than it is to succeed.
Think about the qualities necessary to success: courage, discipline, restraint, persistence, patience. Every one of those qualities is difficult to sustain. It's easier to settle to sympathy, for quiet resignation. Thank God for the exceptions. They are the real successes. One of the most courageous women I've known faced the responsibility of raising seven children alone when her husband died. And yet my mother did it. How? She began each new day of the rest of her life with this morning resolve:
I will try this day to live a simple, sincere and serene life; repelling promptly every thought of discontent, anxiety, discouragement, impurity and self-seeking; cultivating cheerfulness, magnanimity, charity, and the habit of holy silence; exercising economy in expenditure, generosity in giving, carefulness in conversation, diligence in appointed service, fidelity to every trust, and a childlike faith in God.
In particular I will try to be faithful in those habits of prayer, work, study, physical exercise, eating and sleep which I believe the Holy Spirit has shown me to be right.
And as I cannot in my own strength do this, nor even with a hope of success attempt it, I look to Thee, O Lord God my Father, in Jesus my Savior, and ask for the gift of the Holy Spirit.
She would not take the easy way. And my mother, God bless her, will continue to hold up that standard for me as long as I live. "Do you want to get well?" asks Jesus. Do you want to be whole? Often, even among Christians, there is a kind of fatal attraction in settling for mediocrity; wondering, but never knowing, what might have been. And we fall into that trap because it's so easy.
2. A second reason why we fall short of God's good will for us is because it confirms our poor self-esteem. Someone once said, "We make up our minds very early in life what kind of person we're going to be, then we spend the rest of our lives confirming it." You can certainly understand how that happens. As a young child you look up and see that most everyone is older and stronger and bigger and wiser than you. But then too often, the insensitivity or foolishness or wickedness of other people reinforces that sense of inferiority. At times those wounds are inflicted in the name of God. And there are doubtless people here who carry those scars to this day.
Let me ask you: When you were growing up did you think that God liked you? Did you grow up with the idea that God was really glad that you were born? I hope so. Or are you one who grew up believing that God was disappointed in you - a sort of heavenly perfectionist whom you could never please, no matter how hard you tried to be good? There are an awful lot of people who have grown up and gone through life with a deeply imbedded sense of not really being any good. And if you're one of those, you know how difficult that struggle can be.
One of the worst problems with low self-esteem is that, no matter how successful we may be, regardless of our achievements, our sense of personal inadequacy pays little attention to our accomplishments. It has a way of blind-siding us at those times when our defenses are down. That's why such people so often feel like saying, "I'm just as good as you are!" But feeling that you have to say that betrays the fact that you don't really believe it.
So there's something appealing about people who face the worst in themselves. "I may not be much good," they'll say, "but at least I'm honest enough to admit it. I'm no hypocrite." But the relief people feel in talking about themselves that way is like the relief a person who's lost in a blizzard feels when he finally gives up and lies down and curls up to die. There are people all around us committing spiritual and emotional suicide. And the tragedy is that they're doing it needlessly.
Why? Because their worth doesn't depend on anything that they have ever done or left undone. Sometimes we're tempted to believe that we're loved because we have value. That's a lie! The truth is that we have value because we're loved. There is only one real lasting security, and that is in knowing that God loves you eternally and unconditionally. Consider what he paid for you. Don't sell yourself short.
3. Sin, falling short of God's good will for you, is attractive because it's easier and because it confirms our poor self-esteem. And there's one more reason why we're inclined to accept failure rather than become all that God means for us to be. Too often we give up because the risks of action are more obvious than the risks of inaction; the risks of "going for it" are sometimes more obvious to us than the risks of doing nothing about it. That may be confusing. Let me try to clear it up.
Suppose you're considering a new venture. It might be committing your life to another person in marriage; or changing jobs after years of learning to something really well; or it might be a decision to go back to school. Whatever the new venture, it doesn't take much imagination to come up with all sorts of "what ifs" - an array of worst-case scenarios.
But sometimes it's wise to ask yourself not, "What are the risks if I do it?" but "What do I risk losing if I don't do it?" Someone once said: "You either move forward or you pay more to stand in the same place." How much are you willing to spend to go nowhere with your life? It was Paul Tournier who noted: "Most people spend their entire lives indefinitely preparing to live." Are you ready to spend that much to accomplish nothing? Far too many people apparently are.
Eileen Guder writes with moderately acerbic wit: "You can live on bland food so as to avoid an ulcer; drink no tea or coffee or other stimulants in the name of health; go to bed early and stay away from night life; avoid all controversial subjects so as to never give offense; mind your own business and avoid involvement in other people's problems; spend money only on necessities and save all you can. But you can still break your neck in the bathtub - and it will serve you right."
God gave us this life to live - to enjoy! He made us with passionate souls so that we could drink deeply and share heartily in the banquet. How sad that so many of us are so afraid of God-knows-what that we're content to nibble around the edges of the great feast God offers us.
For thirty-eight years that poor man by the Bethesda pool had been growing resigned to what he assumed was his fate. But then Jesus came to him and asked him, "Do you want to get well?" Brothers and sisters, he puts the same question to you and me: "Do you want to get well?" How will you answer?
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