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SERMON
"Prayer – Who needs it?" That's one of those statements that
can be interpreted in different ways. For example, it may be a genuine
offer of help. Someone may say, "Prayer – Who needs it? I'm
available." But the same words take on a tone of cynical resignation
when muttered by someone who has tried prayer and found it
unsatisfactory. "Prayer (harrumph) – Who needs it!" Sad to say,
there are many people whose experience with prayer leaves them feeling
frustrated – perhaps even cynical.
I suspect what saddens our Lord's heart is that, when we give up on
prayer, it often means that we've given up on a relationship. I say that
because prayer is the language of a particular relationship. It's the
verbal expression of our relationship with God; and when we stop
praying, stop communicating, the relationship suffers. That's true of
any relationship. There may have once been a closeness, a readiness to
share the daily stuff of our lives with God. But for reasons we find
difficult to name, we've gradually drifted apart; and now we just don't
seem to talk any more.
Does that describe part of your prayer life? The more I talk with people
about their prayer life (or lack of it) the more I realize this is one
area of our lives we're quite hesitant to expose. It's a secret garden
that permits no search warrant, allows no critical questions (not even
from ourselves). Either we pray or we don't pray – but we don't talk
about it.
Why is that? Why are we hesitant to talk openly about our doubts and
struggles with prayer? What are we afraid of? Do we fear others will
think less of us if we admit what we might think are our "failures" in
prayer? That's possible, I suppose. There are judgmental people like
that. But for every intimidating pietist there are a host of Christians
who would probably say, "Thank God I'm not alone! There's someone
other than me who wrestles with prayer and is willing to admit it."
The questions we have about prayer are as common as they are persistent.
For instance: What is prayer? I've already suggested that
prayer is the language of a particular relationship. But since we all
have a relationship with God, that means that prayer is for everyone.
Each person's prayer is an expression of a unique relationship with God.
In other words, we have no business leaving prayer to the professionals.
In fact, prayer is the quintessential amateur event. It's for everyone.
Another question is: When should we pray? My mentor, Earl
Palmer, says that there are two times you should pray. One is when you
feel like it, the other is when you don't feel like it. First, when you
feel like it – that's a time to pray. For example, when you're bursting
with gratitude and you feel you have to tell someone, by all means tell
God. Nothing could be more appropriate. But also when you're in distress
or scared or facing grave danger, and you feel the need to talk it
through with someone – that, too, is a time you should pray. You don't
have to feel embarrassed about praying when you feel the need. Pray
whenever you feel like it.
The other time you should pray is when you don't feel like it. For
instance, when you feel like your spiritual life has gone dry, or when
you sense that your relationship with God has gone cold. It may feel
like God is a million miles away. Maybe a serious problem has become
chronic so there doesn't seem to be any hope, and you don't want to talk
about it. Those, too, are times when you should pray. Pray when you feel
like it and when you don't; because prayer is the language of a
relationship with your best friend, whether you feel it or not.
Here's another question: How should we pray? Today I want
us to take a look at Jesus' teaching on prayer in Matthew's Gospel. It
seems to me that in this section on prayer in the Sermon on the Mount,
our Lord raises at least three issues, and I want to touch on each of
them, however briefly: first, the mechanics of prayer;
second, the object of prayer; and third, the test of
prayer.
1. First, consider the mechanics of prayer.
At verse 5 Jesus begins his teaching on prayer by addressing the
question: How should we pray? And in verses 5-7 he makes two very
practical points. First, in verses 5 and 6 he reminds us to pay
attention to the context of our prayers. Then in verse 7, he tells us
that when it comes to the actual words we use, economy is a virtue.
Pay attention to the context of your prayers. "Don't be like those
who love to pray for attention. When you pray, go into your room and
close the door," he said. We would do well to ask ourselves the
question: "Where am I most likely to pray? And when I do pray, who am
I trying to impress?" Praying for effect can be a subtle game. Jesus
reminds us that some of the best prayers we offer are those uttered in
private places, where it's just between you and God.
And when you go to that quiet place, he says in verse 7, don't babble.
Remember to exercise economy of words. That discipline of short prayers
can do two things. First, it can teach you to focus on the essentials.
When you know your time is limited, you're more likely to get to the
point. Second, it gives God room to respond. For example, if you set
aside fifteen minutes of solitude for prayer, and you can express what's
on your heart in five minutes, that means you're giving God ten full
minutes of relatively undivided attention in which he can deal with the
issues you've raised. Believe me, God can tell you a great deal if
you'll give him ten minutes of quality listening time. Jesus tells us
that if we're serious about learning how to pray, content is almost as
important as intent. So pay attention to the practical questions of both
where you pray, and what you say.
2. Next, consider the object of our prayers.
Obviously the object of our prayers is God. In verse 9 Jesus says,
"This, then, is how you should pray: ‘Our Father…'" There's a
difference between Matthew and Luke's versions of this prayer. It's
obvious that in Luke 11 we have a more condensed version. There Jesus
introduces it by saying, "When you pray, say: ‘Father…'"
Matthew's version of the prayer, however, begins: "Our
Father…" Why do you suppose Matthew included the word "our?" Does it
make any difference? I suspect that, for Luke, the personal possessive
pronoun was implied. But Matthew makes a point of including it in the
text. Why?
More often than not, Bible commentators will point out that Jesus taught
us to pray "our Father" because he intended this to be a corporate
prayer. He intended it to be prayed in unison as a way of reminding us
that we who pray this prayer are all brothers and sisters. That's why
Jesus taught us to pray "our father." Now, that's a very important truth
to remember. But it struck me as I studied the prayer this time, that it
was Jesus who first used that word "our" in reference to God. What are
we to make of that?
The Bible makes it very clear that there is one God who has one Son
named Jesus. In fact the Gospels remind us that when Jesus was baptized,
a voice from heaven said, "This is my beloved Son." (God never
said that about anyone else.) We've known all along that there is a
relationship between God and Jesus more intimate and pure than any we
can imagine; and historically we have used the terms "God the Father"
and "God the Son" to denote this perfect, one-of-a-kind relationship of
Father and Son within the Godhead.
So it strikes me as the most remarkable sort of surprise when Jesus
taught us this prayer. Because it's as though he put his arm around us
and said, "Let's pray to our Father." ~ "Excuse me, Jesus; you mean
your Father, don't you?" ~ "No, I mean our Father. I love you so much,
and my Father loves you so much, that from now on he is your Father,
too. I meant exactly what I said when I told you to pray, ‘Our Father…'"
I hope you can hold in your mind that image of Jesus with his arms
around us whenever you pray the Lord's Prayer. This really is our
prayer. But it is only our prayer because it is first of all the Lord's
prayer. Whenever you pray, remember that you pray in grace, because you
are praying with Jesus your brother to God our Father.
3. So Jesus teaches us about the mechanics of prayer. He
teaches us about the object of prayer. There's one more thing in our
lesson from Matthew's Gospel. He teaches us about the test of
prayer. In verse 12 he teaches us to pray: "Forgive us our
debts as we also have forgiven our debtors." Then at verse 14, he
makes this comment: "For if you forgive men when they sin against
you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not
forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
That commentary raises a perplexing question: What is the connection
between God forgiving us and our forgiving each other? Is Jesus telling
us here that God waits until we forgive before he forgives us? Of course
not. Paul made that point unequivocally when he wrote to the Romans:
"God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still
sinners, Christ died for us." And he wrote to the Ephesians:
"Because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us
alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions – it is by
grace you have been saved." And these words from Jesus himself on
the cross: "Father, forgive them, they don't know what they're
doing." Obviously God doesn't wait until we forgive before he
forgives us.
So does that mean there's no connection between our forgiving and our
being forgiven? Of course there's a connection. James writes: "With
the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who
have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and
cursing. My brothers, this should not be." And John uses even
stronger language: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just
and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If
we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word
has no place in our lives." Yes, there is a connection between
forgiving and being forgiven.
So what are we to make of this? It seems to me Jesus is offering us a
simple test, a sort of self-administered reality-check for our prayers.
It's as though Jesus were saying to us: "If you want to know if your
relationship with God is healthy, the best way to do it is to check your
relationships with others." If you're hoping for God's forgiveness,
you would do well to ask yourself whether you have given others reason
to hope for yours?
It's like the family who moved to a small town. They had made up their
minds before they ever got there that the people would be cold and
unwelcoming to strangers. So this family treated the townspeople as
though they were the enemy. And do you know what happened? The folks in
that town didn't disappoint them. They assumed that this new family
didn't want to have anything to do with them, so they obliged by keeping
their distance. The new family's suspicions were confirmed and they were
perfectly miserable – until they finally moved away.
Another family moved to that same town. But they arrived having already
made up their minds that this was going to be the ideal place to live.
So they greeted their neighbors with a smile and showed a genuine
interest in learning what was important to those townspeople. Guess what
happened. The people in that town (the same people) didn't disappoint
them, either. They assumed these new folks were friends and treated them
accordingly. That family's suspicions were confirmed as well – and they
loved living there.
I suspect Jesus is simply reminding us here of a very basic truth. There
is a profound sense in which what you give is what you get. And it's not
so much that you get what you deserve as it is that you get what you set
yourself up for. You and I have the freedom to set ourselves up for
grief or for joy. And the test of how we use that freedom is simply
this: If you want God to be real in your life, try being real with
someone who needs a little honesty. If you want to understand God's
forgiveness, then let go of that grudge against someone you've been
nursing along. If you want your prayers answered, try being an answer to
someone else's prayers.
Do that and you'll discover that we were created to be channels of God's
grace. And the marvelous fact is that, when you allow God to use you to
answer another's need, you discover in that person the answer to your
deepest prayer: "Lord, make my life useful; make me an instrument of
your peace." Prayer – who needs it? I do – and so do you.
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